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  • Elevate YOU Staff

Why most New Year's Resolutions don't stick, and how to beat the odds in 2023

It's not just you, and it's not just because of the pandemic. The first person to make a New Year's Resolution didn't stick to theirs, either.


Only around 9% of people who make resolutions actually keep them. A study from 2020 showed that most people have already given up on their resolutions by January 19!


Why is this? Here's a clue:



Resolution is just another word for goal, and most people have no problem coming up with goals. Lose 25 pounds. Buy a house. Get your real estate license.


1. HOW, THOUGH?


But how will you get from where you are now to that big, important goal? Most people resolve to do a thing without having any idea how they'll do it. If you don't learn and plan, you will quickly get overwhelmed by the enormity of the goal and shut down.


So, by 11:59pm on December 31, you need to have your HOW figured out.



2. PROCESS OVER EVENT.


Another problem with a Big, Important Resolution is that it sticks in our minds as an event. But all the work it will take to reach that goal isn't an event, it's a long-term, continual process. By only seeing the goal, it's like you're mentally skipping to the end of your story without reading the beginning or the middle. The end may feel like an event, but a whole lot of experience made that event possible. This ain't Rocky. You can't just montage your way through the boring stuff. You have to be around for the whole thing, in real time. Scary, right?


You have to look at the entire endeavor you're about to undertake. And if that process suddenly seems like a lot more work than you thought, maybe it's time to...



3. REALITY CHECK YOURSELF.


To be frank, no matter how cool it would be to create a dope music track that goes viral on TikTok and gets you tons of royalties, maybe you are not cut out to be a music producer. It would be awesome to be an infamous graffiti artist, but maybe you're afraid of heights, spray paint chemicals, trespassing, and the dark.


We're not telling you that you can't make your dreams come true, but if you dive headfirst into a resolution and feel like you just dove into dry cement, maybe that's your self trying to tell you that you're just not that person. Only you should tell you what you are and are not capable of. But if the thought of doing some of the necessary tedious stuff it will take to get you to your goal makes your head hurt, perhaps you should listen to what your body is telling you.



4. WHY DO I FEEL LIKE NOBODY'S WATCHING ME?


You can have the most beautiful song in the world in your head, but until you open your mouth and sing it, it's just an idea. And you're not a singer yet.


We won't get all new-age on you and say you must "Speak It Into Existence" or "Manifest That Sh*t." You just need to say your resolution to someone. Like, a real human being. If you have a goal, but you don't share it, you're already secretly telling yourself you won't actually do it. Your silence tells you a story whether you want it to or not.


You need to have someone to keep you accountable and focused on your goal. Maybe they have something they want to do, and you can be each other's Resolution Buddies. Maybe you tell your therapist. Or your Pastor. Or your momma. But you better tell somebody: somebody who cares about you.



NOW YOU KNOW, SO WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?


Quick recap:


You have to think about what you want, and how you can get it.


You have to look at the whole process, not just the prize you get at the end, and decide whether you can handle the means that make the ends.


And you have to get someone else involved to keep you on track through it all.


At Elevate YOU, we sometimes have students sign up at the height of their passion for pole. They're very excited at the prospect of climbing the pole, or inverting, or dropping from the top into a full side split. Maybe they've seen a video of some of our advanced students doing those amazing things.


But once that initial passion burns away and the adrenaline wears off, some of those new students stop coming back. Before you can climb the pole, you have to learn the Fireman. Before you invert, you have to develop your core and do a lot of Fan Kicks. And before you drop from the top into a split, you have to get on a strict flexibility program. For some, it's just too much work. It's hard to see the end past all the training in front of them.


We get that.


But maybe this will help: you didn't fail. You put that goal on pause.



THE REMOTE IS YOURS


The version of you that stopped pursuing pole dance is not the version of you that you'll be forever. You decided to pause. You can decide to start up again. And you can decide to do that ANYTIME.


You didn't quit. You didn't fail. You needed to step back and regroup. But you can start again. And you'll have built in Pole Goal Buddies when you come back to class. Every student wants their fellow students to succeed. Every instructor wants their students to succeed. And you want yourself to succeed. Everyone is rooting for you!


It really can be that simple. If you've been away, you don't need to wait for New Year's to hit PLAY on the remote control of your life. Come when it's YOUR time. Trust YOUR process.


And if you need serious tracking and accountability, just let your instructor know you need extra help keeping up with your goals. We're all on TEAM YOU. So when you're ready, we'll be here.




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